


Raw

by MCUsic_to_my_ears



Series: ScienceBrosWeek2018 [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Fundraisers, M/M, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 14:16:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15414810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCUsic_to_my_ears/pseuds/MCUsic_to_my_ears
Summary: Fish eggs are an acquired taste that Bruce simply does not have.For day two of Science Bros Week 2018.Prompt: Raw





	Raw

Why anyone in their right mind thought that galas were the way to go on fundraising was beyond Bruce. He was seriously questioning their sanity, and this was coming from the guy who had an extra person (Hulk) living in his head. Why would people whose homes were destroyed due to Ultron’s attempted coup seriously want their livelihood to be balanced on whether or not the fish eggs tasted good? They wouldn’t, because fish eggs are inherently disgusting and any level-headed person would be able to recognize that. 

Which was, perhaps, why Tony seemed to fit in so well that these events. He could tolerate the non-quality of the coveted fish eggs.

He seemed to be on everyone’s good side, constantly being the center of conversation, never without a girl in his arm. 

‘It’s for appearances,’ Tony’s pan-ass would promise. 

‘So are the suits,’ Bruce would think. 

Although their romantic relationship was a secret, their friendship seemed to take the world by storm, drawing reporter after reporter to Bruce’s table in the back of the room. 

“Dr. Banner, I was wondering if I could get your take on Mr. Stark’s latest release of commercial prosthetics.”

Bruce’s eyes darted to the security guard positioned on his right. She had her eyes locked on Tony. “Oh, um…”

“Jane Gildred, from the New York Post.” The reporter shook the doctor’s hand before he could shift away. “Could I get your statement on Stark Industries commitment to rebuilding Sokovia?”

“Actually, Dr. Banner, if you could reflect on the recent series of women in Stark’s company, my boss would be extremely thankful.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Tony exclaimed, crowding out the journalists surrounding Bruce better than the three security guards assigned to Bruce’s case did. Perhaps because they couldn’t read his nervous tics like Tony could. The engineer could see across a football stadium that Bruce was uncomfortable. Or maybe he could just sense that people were talking about him. “I didn't realize we were having our hourly White House Press Briefing at this plainly labeled  _ private _ table. Had I known, I would have brought a better list of misdirection for you guys. Sadly, all I brought was my standard set of gala media rules.  _ You aren’t invited to talk,” _ he began. 

“ _ Then you aren’t invited to gawk, _ ” the reporters echoed irritably, their ‘in’ taken from them once again by the dark-haired inventor. They all dispersed quickly after, hearing countless tales of journalists who had been blacklisted from any and all events due to Tony Stark’s wrath. Or rather, no longer hearing of said journalists. 

Bruce looked down at his empty plate. No server had been game enough to approach him thus far. 

“You didn’t have to.” He indicated the fleeing reporters. 

Tony shrugged. “Gotta keep them on their toes. It’s no fun if they don’t fear me.”

“They fear you anyway.”

“Let’s change the subject.”

“We don’t have to-”

“You don’t want to talk about them. I don’t want to talk about them. Let’s change the subject.”

Bruce fiddled with Tony’s plate as the billionaire sat down next to him. 

“You’re missing out on important networking,” he murmured sullenly. He hated feeling like a plus one. 

“I can network whenever I want. Subject, change it.” 

Bruce considered. They were both stressed. Secrets tended to put a strain on any relationship when the relationship was the secret in a very public life. 

Fucking homophobia. 

“Where do these events even get raw, pond scum fish eggs?”

“First off, never eating caviar again.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Christ, what a description. You’re going to be the death of me, Banner.” The look in his eyes told Bruce that Tony wanted to participate in physical contact, but thought better of it. 

Fucking camaraderie equivocating “gay” gestures. 

“Secondly, caviar is not gotten from ponds. They harvest it from pregnant female fish that they catch and then C-section the babies out.” He paused. “Scratch that, that phrasing was worse than yours. No more caviar for me then,” he sighed. “Only point zero one percent alcohol champagne now.”

“What a loss,” Bruce drawled. 

“Oh fuck you, Banner.”

“Maybe later,” the doctor considered. 

Tony leaned forward and asked lowly, “Seriously?”

Bruce shrugged. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta, Mxy!


End file.
